i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
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