So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
