Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
