I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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