Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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