dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
