was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
