I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
