Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
