Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
