Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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