let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
