I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
