There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
