This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
