just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
