there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
