none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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