At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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