Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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