Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
