Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
