I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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