did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
