dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
