Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think your dad took our porno
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
