If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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