I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
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