Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
