I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
