Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
