Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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