guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
