We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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