with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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