Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
