i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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