didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
