he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
