We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
