i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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