There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think people are normalizing furries
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
