I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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