Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
