You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
