nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just want nice things and good sex
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
