she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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