I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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