I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
