Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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