so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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